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I am good at writing and making jokes and cleaning.I would make a wonderful wife, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to selflessly love and serve my husband.And, for the most part, the online dating adventure has been exactly that. But, there have been a few interactions that have gone really really bad. As in “you fat bitch” and one that I reported to a friend of mine (who is a San Jose PD detective) that basically said I would be better off dead. Now, I am certain that this sort of thing happens to women of all sizes and shapes. Well, “you fat bitch” probably only happens to fat women. You can be a size 2 and get plenty of hate mail and comments. There are way too many amazing, uplifting people in the world to spend your days with those ass hats. And, if you find yourself being harassed online via email or message or texts, just keep replying with the words ” Please stop emailing me.” Or “Please stop texting me.” Be clear. And, when you get someone who is being rude via text or your cell phone – do NOT delete their telephone number from your phone.It is so fascinating how one moment someone is basically begging me to go on a date with them and then the next minute, after I politely turn them down, that it turns so ugly. (“Eat a cheeseburger” memes come to mind.) When you are fat woman online, you get fun stuff like this: (And, I do believe in full disclosure. Just change the name in your contact to “Dick head. He made threats to me” or something like that so you have their telephone number and you NEVER mistakenly answer their call.

Been doing the online dating thing for about 3 months now. I loved these men to pieces and they loved me back. ) “You’re sure are picky for a fat woman.” You bet your ass I am! I would MUCH rather be alone and lonely then with some dickhead and lonely. I know you big girls like the big one’s” Whoa, there stud.“I see how so much of love is physical attraction, especially at the beginning. It’s not the one I wanted to believe.” In the latest episode of the “This American Life” podcast, Elna Baker discussed her journey of losing 100 pounds only to grow frustrated with the superficial attention she began to attract.We resist the narrative of physical attraction dictating love, especially inside the walls of the church where we hope to find much more stringent, substantive dating criteria than waist size, but maybe Elna’s onto something.Men that treated me like a goddess and that always made me feel beautiful and sexy. I have also had to have that awkward discussion with a couple of them ( “You’re really great. I am just right mother fu*ker.) ” I just love dating fat girls. I think maybe when you’re immature and in high school you are much more insecure. I have certainly had lots of mean shit said to me online by the fat shamers and the trolls (and now by these men that I denied a first date to). And, as I like to say “Unless I love you, I just don’t care about your opinion of me any way.” If you haven’t read my article for the Huffington Post called “Do Not Settle Curvy Girls” here is the link : a reminder from me that the people you surround yourself with should LIFT you up and bring you jog.Just so blessed in that department so I have no complaints. Just not for me” ) and a few of them just sort of drifted off into the never never land that is dating. Women who spend any time online know about all of the trolls and all of the shamers. I think once you become an adult, you become more interested in the WHOLE person and not the shell that person is in, ya know? In real life, I have never had any men (not to my face anyway) say anything negative about my big body… If they criticize you and put you down, you need to break up with them right away. Ain’t no one got time for that bull shit, as they say. Do not reply back with witty comments about their sad, pitiful life – no matter how good it might feel. “Please stop emailing me.” And then SAVE everything in case you ever need it.




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